A Nymphoid Barbarian In Dinosaur Hell (1991)
A sexy, scarcely dressed teen nymph running around fighting dinosaurs in a post-apocalyptic world! How can it fail? Allow me to enlighten you.
Raping mutants
«A Nymphoid Barbarian In Dinosaur Hell» is set in the fictional place «Tromaville» in a distant future. After a nuclear holocaust the world is a very different place indeed. Most of the humans has mutated into gnomes and most of the animals into dinosaurs (and the creature from «The Lagoon»). Here we meet Lea; a nymphoid barbarian (in dinosaur hell), and apparently the last woman on earth. After an attempted rape she is rescued by Marn the Barbarian. He’s taking her to safety. But after a little while Lea is captured by the evil barbarian warlord Clon’s minions and attempted raped again. Luckily they’re eaten by dinosaurs, and thus she manages to escape. But being parted from Marn she gets captured again by a mutant which (you guessed it) tries to rape her; but, against all odds, he gets eaten by a dinosaur as well… And this is pretty much how the boat floats for the rest of the movie.
I’m not quite sure if there’s anything else to say about this movie…
Michael Bays retarded 3-year-old brother
The sound design is done by an 8-year-old on the Toys”R”Us-bought Casio keyboard he inherited last Christmas. The costumes looks like something taken out of Sarah Palins winter wardrobe. The visual effects are delivered by Michael Bays retarded 3-year-old brother. And the director is probably related to him as well.
The biggest problem however, besides everything being crap, is the complete lack of story. If I wanted to see premature teens running away from rapers I might as well watched Datelines «To Catch a Predator». I wouldn’t get the dinosaurs. But I bet I could create something out of playdough, place it next to the television and achieve a greater visuall experience than that presented in «A Nymphoid Barbarian In Dinosaur Hell»
Seriously, don’t watch this movie. But the trailer is a good laugh:
Tags: dinosaur, Michael Bay, nymphoid, playdough, rape, Troma Team
Comments (1)
Do you have copy writer for so good articles? If so please give me contacts, because this really rocks!